By Myra Height, Lake Tahoe, Nevada, United States
My story begins around age five when I began to feel God. But I was challenged because my father is an atheist, having as a young man had his Christian faith unraveled by watching the ravages of the Korean War. My mother was raised Catholic and had been abused by nuns in the convent where she was left for a time while my grandmother came to America to establish residence. Needless to say, I was not raised in a religious household.
When I was about eleven, I began debating with my father about the existence of God, and I always felt frustrated because I could not prove in words that God existed. I believe these discussions were fertilizing my mind for the Urantia Revelation. They made me question what I heard, as I later went from church to church, and what I read when I went from book to book searching for what could answer my questions. Having by then been imbued with my father’s critical thinking, I found hypocrisy and unclear presentation of beliefs in them all. None of this was going to help prove to my dad that God exists! I became almost angry because I could not fathom that, with all the knowledge in the world, there was nothing written to tell us the real truth! If God is the Creator, why can’t we know about Him? But where was it? I prayed hard to find “it,” and I didn’t care what it was, as long as it was the truth. I kept searching.
One day in 1977 (I was 17), I was sitting on a small, empty beach, and a darling blond-headed boy strolled up, sat next to me, and we talked. He said, “You should meet my mom,” and I said, “Okay.” We walked back to their place, and Jean and I hit it off. Not long after, we began talking about God, my favorite topic. She looked at me and said, “I have a book,” and she opened The Urantia Book to the Foreword, and I read it and cried. I knew with every fiber of my body, at last I’d found it, or rather it found me.
The Urantia Book gives me a “universe view,” and it answers my questions: “Why do I exist,” and “Who is God.” The Urantia Book is my guide to understanding my brother and, from there, to grow to love my brother. This feels good.
The Urantia Book lets me know that the choices I make along my journey matter in the eternal eternity. It gives me reason to get up every day to see what little ol’ me can do to contribute to the Supreme and to our planet, Urantia. It lets me know that all actions do contribute, and that I should, therefore, do my best. The teachings help me to overcome the conflicts stemming from my mortal weakness. It gives me purpose for living and the strength to do God’s will.
The Urantia Book allows me to live on this strife-torn planet with the larger understanding that those suffering will survive, and that their experience contributes to the Supreme; pain is not devoid of value. It tells me that Urantia has a host of unseen friends doing all that universe laws allow them to do in connection with their efforts to move our planet toward light and life. This knowledge gives me energy and expands my capacity to shine God’s light and live Jesus’ teachings rather than be consumed by, or numbed to, the pain.
I feel blessed that I found The Urantia Book at a young age. Through it, I have found the keys to connecting with God. I always knew that God was inside, and The Urantia Book tells me that we are indwelled by our beloved Thought Adjusters. The Urantia Book tells me that I need to “take my heading” in accordance with moral compass of God that is guiding me on the eternal ride of my life. It means everything to me.
I did give my father a book, and no, he did not read it. That’s okay; I know he will be just fine. Jean was my only study partner for decades, although we always did our best to be faithful disseminators. In 2004 I went to my first conference and was blessed to meet many beautiful people whom I cherish deeply. Now that my kids are grown, I even have time for service work, which brings me joy. I am “living the dream.” Thank you, Father.